I am a retired engineer in my mid-60s. Both my sister and I were adopted as babies and never knew our biological parents. We had a wonderful upbringing and I never really gave my adoption much thought. That is until now. At this late stage in my life, a dream brought emotions about my adoption to the surface that I never knew I had.
In my dream, I was working in the backyard and happened to see a bear up in one of the trees. It was an unusual bear, with brown and white coloration – just like one of our dogs. The bear came out of the tree and began approaching me. I pulled my pistol and fired into the air to scare it away, but it kept approaching. The bear climbed a fence to get to me. When it got near, it stood on its hind legs. In fear, I pointed my pistol at the bear – aiming right at its forehead. The bear simply stood there and closed its eyes.
I couldn’t pull the trigger. After I lowered the pistol, the bear morphed into an old woman in her 80s or 90s. She had a gentle smile but was in tears. The old woman hugged me and then turned and left.
It was one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever had. So vivid in fact that it took me some time to realize it hadn’t actually happened. Once I was fully awake, I had a profound sense that I had been visited by a spirit that hadn’t touched me in many years. One that cared deeply about me, but had regrets. A spirit that was saying goodbye.
I didn’t need a psychologist or a psychic to interpret the dream. Its symbolism was obvious to me the moment I woke up. In my writing, I have been using the term “mama bears” to refer to mothers protecting their children from malicious educators (teaching CRT, transgenderism, and such). Clearly, the female bear was a mother figure.
I have no idea what the significance of its coloring was. Perhaps resembling one of our dogs was intended to make the bear seem non-threatening to me.
The bear closed its eyes and allowed me to put a gun to its head. The creature seemed to be symbolically saying that it would accept death to prove that it meant me no harm.
After morphing into an old woman, the smile signified happiness and the tears regret. Of course, the hug represented love.
All of this symbolism presented a non-verbal message to me which was immediately understood, and profoundly impactful. I’m a man of science. I know the symbolism was understandable to me because my own subconscious had picked symbols. But I also know that science can’t explain very much about this world we live in. Some things transcend Isaac Newton’s physics and Albert Einstein’s relativity. Similar to my faith in God, this dream planted a belief in my mind.
I believe my biological mother has recently died, and her soul visited me as it departed for its next journey. The dream showed me that she had placed my life ahead of hers. The bear’s acceptance of a gun to the head meant that she would accept whatever hardship life would give her, so long as I was safe. Somehow, she knew that I would have a better life without her, even though it hurt her deeply. Our final visit (in my dream) seemed to give her peace, and me insight.
Adopted children experience a broad range of different emotions. Some feel a longing to connect with their biological parents. Some feel resentment that their mothers gave them up. I was raised by two wonderful parents. I never had any desire to find my biological mother and never felt any emotions whatsoever about her. Until now.
I will never consider her my mother. My actual mother earned the exclusive right to that title. But I do feel a sense of gratitude now. She chose to give me life and then chose to give me a better life than she could provide (for whatever reason that was). I understand that she made a decision for my welfare and likely suffered considerably for it. I hope now she knows how her decision affected my life. If her goal was to give me a better life, she succeeded beyond what she could have possibly imagined. I was raised by two wonderful parents (both deceased now). I have a beautiful wife, two children, two grandchildren (so far), and a great sister. None of that would have been possible without her selfless decision.
Was I actually visited by the soul of the woman who gave birth to me? Or was it merely my subconscious mind working out a conflict I didn’t know I had. It doesn’t really matter. The insight I gained is the same. On this Mother’s Day, I give thanks to a woman I have never met, for the sacrifice she made for me.
By John Green
John Green is a political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He currently writes at the American Free News Network and The Blue State Conservative. He can be followed on Facebook or reached at greenjeg@gmail.com.
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This story syndicated with permission from The Blue State Conservative