Most of you know that I have been crisscrossing Texas on the campaign trail as I run in the primary race for governor of Texas in 2022. Many of you have inquired about my partner in crime and running buddy Pepper the Patriot Dog. In her short seven months of life this Bloodhound has seen more of Texas than most people will see in a lifetime and hopefully pooped in more parks than any of you.
I consider my campaign field office to be my Ford truck that is now coated in Pepper’s fur. Honestly, I had no idea that bloodhounds shed so much. What’s the point in keeping a clean truck when it belongs to her anyway? I finally got a cover for the backseat in an attempt to salvage what’s left of it. She’ll have that eaten by next weekend.
She has been staying in hotel rooms with me as we travel, so our pick of quality accommodations is often limited and I think I may have bought a somewhat chewed sofa from a Marriott last night. Did I mention that she poops larger than a horse and is full of more crap than an Austin politician?
Even when she’s happy she still looks more sad than a lefty on Donald Trump’s inauguration day. The only difference is that Pepper is actually cute, and even though she’s a hound dog, still makes less noise. I guess I could also mention that she does not have purple hair or a useless degree from a liberal arts college.
I hope that you will catch us out on the road somewhere in Texas and say hello. Pepper will be happy to slobber on you. That is, if you can catch her in the one hour a day that she is actually awake.